So…I’m pregnant……………….AGAIN!! This is my 5th child and I am really looking forward to most of the rituals of being pregnant, such as stuffing my face with no guilt, being able to put my feet up and blame it on the swelling, and getting away with all those wonderful unladylike body functions (that men seem to have mastered), and be able to smile and blame it on the baby!!! Among these, there is one ritual, that I DO NOT look forward too!! Being touched by complete strangers!!
So, why is it, that everyone, especially strangers, feels that they have the right to molest you, every time they see you, just because your stomach arrives 5 minutes before you do?? What is it about a woman’s big, huge “look, I’ve swallowed a watermelon” belly, that compels complete strangers to walk up, arms outstretched and start rubbing your belly as if you were Buddha! Do they think a genie is gonna pop out and grant them a wish? Something may pop out, but it ain’t gonna be no genie!!!!!
I don’t mind friends or family, getting the occasional “rub” in, it’s expected and frankly cute! It’s when someone, you don’t know, has never met, and would never, ever, approach or talk to for any reason, suddenly appears in your path, with the biggest grin in the world, and heads straight for your belly, as if the Hope Diamond is in your belly button! You see them coming from miles away. It’s as if there is a homing device secretly planted in your womb with your baby. They can’t stop themselves, but you wish they would.
I am only 7 weeks along, so this ritual has yet to start, but believe me….if you see me in the street, or in the store, or anywhere for that matter, and you for one second think, that I am going to let you, a stranger, touch my body in any way, no matter how innocent…………….you had better back up and “QUIT TOUCHING ME”